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Newsletter

Each month we send out a mailing of what's new and open for registration, as well as a note of reflection from one of us. 

January 2025

As we look back on our work through 2024 we hit some major milestones here at IFS Connect. We celebrated Marina Hazan’s promotion to Co-Lead Trainer, Risa Adam’s promotion to the Lead Trainer Program (LTP) and Sarah Jarvis and Anna Gartshore’s promotions to Assistant Trainer roles. 

 

In other exciting news Sarah Jarvis gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and Elizabeth Parsons, Robin Beardsley and Risa Adams will soon be publishing their labour of love: “It Doesn’t Have to Be This Way: A Physician's Guide to Radical Self Care”. 

 

Check out the book’s pre-launch event with CECE SYKES “Heart Lessons of the Journey” on February 20. This is a day to spend deepening into YOUR story of how you came into this work and what you need to fulfil your true purpose. 

 

The past year has been a time of profound grief, challenge, strife and trauma on a global scale and we continue to dedicate ourselves to the practices that cultivate inner peace, balance, harmony, courage and Self-leadership. May your good work continue and may you feel all the support you need as we learn and grow our community vision together.

 

Anna with Elizabeth, Marina, Risa, Robin and Sarah

December 2024

As we come into the month of December and the holiday season for many in our community, I am reminded of how grateful I am for my situation, my health and the support in my life, while also being aware that I carry much grief that is activated at this time of year. Not only my own grief but also, I am acutely more aware of how many others have basic needs that are not being met and /or are alone during these long nights and cold temperatures. It can be a time where we feel the loss of those gone before us or those who no longer feel connected to us. While my empathic exiles have a hard time reconciling this suffering, I am connected with them and reminding them of a collective healing, holding presence that is available to us and others.

My little ones also connect with the wonder and magic at this time of year. And I am aware that getting together with family and friends can activate old patterns, beliefs, hurts and loss. How do we help our little ones and our protectors? How do we hold a boundary where one is needed? This requires the quality of connection within to be able to see our boundaries or needs. We need courage and confidence to act, and choice of speaking for rather than from parts. I have parts that can feel afraid as they see it as standing up to someone bigger. The anger, hurt, or sadness that can arise when our boundary is crossed can be used, if Self-led, to help bring in fierce compassion, a sense of dropping into our own agency and power. This helps us to hear what is needed in the moment and act on what is right for us, while also holding what is needed for others.

Many therapists tend to give generously and without thought of receiving in return, however, many of us can become depleted if we don’t take the time to reflect on our own basic needs. I have parts that can feel shame and inner criticism if I reflect on my needs. I have been working with shame more deeply, that feeling that arises from our most basic need “the wish to be loved” and fearing or believing that we are unlovable. I have learned from Toni Herbine-Blank (IFIO-Intimacy From the Inside Out) that “where there is shame there is a shamer” (either externally or internally). Recently I became aware of the intergenerational shame and the burden I am carrying of my ancestors’ shame of not feeling good enough or not doing enough especially for others. While I have my own beliefs of not being good enough, I have been able to touch into the legacy of my ancestors who felt so responsible for others at a cost to themselves. I gave some of this shame back to my ancestors and told them I am no longer willing to carry their burden of shame they unknowingly gave to me. (This is new for me and a part feels glad that I have written this here).

Sometimes we become so used to our inner critics that we aren’t even aware of the shame within and around our bodies. As I learn more about my own parts and remember how universal shame is, it is easier to experience my anger and sadness about my boundaries being crossed and easier to look at my own unmet needs.

As my first mentor (Virginia Satir) once said “May you have Peace Within, Peace Between and Peace Among”. I am ever grateful for this IFS community, without whom I would not feel the ability to access these deeper wounded parts that carry shame. We were wounded in relationship, and we can heal in relationship.

Please read on to see the offerings we have for the new year where you can make connections within and learn from and connect to others in the hopes of creating Peace and Hope among. There will be opportunities to drop into our deeper collective SELF energy and tap into our commitment or action to create new possibilities for each other and the world.

Warmly,

Robin and the IFS Connect team

November 2024

November can be a dreary month in these northern climes, with the colourful leaves of October long gone and the days getting shorter. It can also be a time to move into more rest and reflection, as we feel winter coming closer. What I’m noticing these days is a wish to have more time with others in person, as opposed to on screen. It’s like some of my parts have hit a wall and said, “No more!” They don’t want me to add any more virtual sessions or groups if at all possible. This happened around the same time that I participated in a fantastic training (in person) combining psychodrama and IFS. A group of 12 of us spent 5 days in small and large groups learning through experiencing some of the basics of psychodrama and sociometry and how to use them in our work. The excitement in my system around bringing IFS to groups feels supercharged since that training. My clinical work focuses on groups and I am curious to know if there are others in the IFS Connect community who are interested in connecting around providing group therapy. Would love to hear from you!

 

And speaking of groups, IFS Connect has many group offerings including drop-in case consultation, the Beginning with Ourselves group (new registration for group starting in February), and monthly demo drop-ins. Our Triads offer an intimate and experiential group learning opportunity. 

 

There is also a small group meeting monthly on Friday afternoons to connect and support each other around the climate crisis and how we are bringing this into our work. Please contact me (Elizabeth) if you are interested in joining us. 

 

We all look forward to seeing you and connecting in some of these spaces!

 

Warmly,

Elizabeth and the IFS Connect team

October 2024

Greetings from the IFS Connect family!


We have some exciting news to share with you! 

Our beautiful Sarah Jarvis has become a mother to a sweet little guy! We are wishing them endless love and joy in every moment spent together.

May this little man grow into a bright and peaceful world! 

We also want to congratulate Marina Hazan for starting her first Level 1 as a Co-Lead Trainer, for which she is feeling excitement, joy and gratitude! Anna Gartshore has been promoted to Assistant Trainer and begun her first Canadian Level 1 training with Robin Beardsley on staff! We are very proud of our IFS Connect family.

And as we mark Thanksgiving Day in Canada, we would like to express our gratitude to you for joining our IFS Connect community and bringing with you the energy of Self, curiosity, openness, love to people and to IFS!

We are grateful for each other in our team that feels more like a family, for the mutual support and lots of amazing qualities and talents that we each bring. And we are also grateful for something bigger than us, that despite all the hardships, conflicts and imperfections of this world, we can enjoy life, cherish connections and do what we believe can spread goodness into the world. 

We invite you to take a moment to reflect on what you are grateful for ❤

August 2024

When I started out on my IFS Learning journey I was completely on my own, finding courses online in a windowless hospital office. I so wish I had the support of a community to help me reflect, get feedback, grow and ease my isolation. When Risa Adams reached out to build  IFS Connect I was smitten right away. It turns out we all felt something a little like this and wanted to nurture meaningful connections in our growing Canadian IFS community. We’d love to have you be a part of this vision and are inviting you to join us on September 6th from 1:30-3pm for a special get-together.

 

We will be meeting via Zoom for our 2nd Annual IFS Connect Fall Gathering! It’s a chance to connect with other IFS learners, no matter what your experience level. And it’s FREE!

 

Come if you are seeking clarity on your IFS learning pathway, whether you are:

  • Brand new to IFS

  • Have taken some courses/workshops

  • Graduated from a comprehensive course or Level 1

 

There will be a meditation, followed by small group connection time and an opportunity to ask us your IFS learning pathway questions.  We’re also excited to share with you all of the offerings that we have for the fall, including drop-in consult groups, the Beginning With Ourselves group, demo offerings, and triad practice opportunities.

 

We’re looking forward to meeting you and excited to spend time with you on September 6, 2024!

 

Warmly,

Anna

June 2024

Despite the fact that the weather is warm and mostly sunny, my garden is bursting with new life, and I’m enjoying my work,  I have noticed recently that I am feeling more irritable. The things I was able to let go or that didn’t even register with me before are now evoking reactivity in me. When I realized how I was feeling, I reacted by pushing the feelings away, not wanting to feel irritable, not liking the sensations and the behaviour that resulted. After a few days (part of me says, a few days!? Why does it have to take so long to wake up to what is happening? - so that’s there too), but where was I?

Yes, after a few days it occurred to me that this irritability might be something to pay attention to and to approach. I’m still in the process of this exploration as I write this, but I have realized that there are some parts of me whose needs are not being met. Life got very busy in the last while and some of my self-care practices had been let go. As I recognized this and began to make space (as much as possible in this busy month) to give myself time, the irritability started to decrease.

The most helpful thing for me in becoming aware of being blended with parts is sharing with others who get it. I have a peer partner who I meet with weekly to do a short meditation and check in with our parts and each other. I’m a member of a consultation group that meets monthly where I can share the parts of me that come up both in my work and in life. I’m also a member of other IFS-based groups that meet monthly and connect over specific topics. These groups support my process of getting to know myself and help me to show up in the world more authentically. I’m so grateful for them and for this IFS community.

My hope and wish for you is to find these connections for yourself. We hope that the offerings of IFS Connect will support you in this. We’d love to hear from you - what are you needing and looking for in your journey? We’ve created a short survey for you to let us know your thoughts. Please take a few moments to fill it in here.

In connection,

Elizabeth

May 2024

Spring is here in full swing, bright and festive, the trees are finally covered with fresh green leaves, everything around is blooming in full force in so many colours and forms, reminding us to breathe in the beauty of life… 

These days, when so much is happening in our imperfect world, I am sitting with this poem by Abigail Magidna Gross (translated from Hebrew) that touched me deeply: 

How does spring remember to bloom? 

Despite the tears of pain,

It’s determined to be happy

To share comfort in every heart.

 

How is it not confused? 

And opens its colourful fan, 

Smiling with all its might 

In reality that doesn’t make sense. 

 

How does nature know to hug?

And to fill fields with hope, 

Driving away evil with its flowers

And giving the soul grace and peace. 

 

I wish we were such a spring 

that insists on holding onto the good.

I wish we chose to be like it,

To be generous and simple in love.

A couple of weeks ago we had a Trainers retreat organized by the IFS Institute. As I was looking at the small screens, I could see a vibrant mosaic of faces from different cultures, countries, ages, personalities, and experiences, like a field of beautiful flowers. This is the promising future of IFS. The atmosphere in the retreat was amazing, so much wisdom, open-mindedness, love, hopes, so much Self energy. 

As we were meditating together, we were feeling the healing energy of Self flowing inside and between us, and we were sending it towards people we know and don’t know, those who need our compassion, love and care… 

 

May we be able to spread love and not hate, may we be able to open our hearts towards each other, to remember that our Self has no limits and can heal all the pain in the world!

Let’s continue cherishing life, sun, nature, and our loved ones every minute we can! 

 

With love, 

Marina Hazan, and all of us at IFS Connect. 

April 2024

As April begins the days are growing longer here in Canada, and after many weeks of wet and gray we are finally celebrating sunshine and blue sky here on the West Coast, where I live. This past week as I walked to my office past the rows of cherry blossoms and daffodils, I noticed a spontaneous welling of hope and excitement moving through my body. New life is here, said a little whisper.  Even amid a busy city, I find that nature, and springtime in particular, is one of the surest and deepest sources to access Self-Energy. A living symbol of life and beauty returning after a time of darkness and hibernation. 

 

As we ride the seasonal changes from winter to spring, both around us and within, I have been reflecting on the seeds that were planted and quietly tended to during the long days of winter. What dreams were buried deep into the soil of your heart during that time? What hopes and intentions were nurtured throughout those dark nights? And, as winter often brings, what burdens spoke to you, were witnessed, and cared for? 

 

And now, as shoots of green spring forth from the earth and the morning birdsong grows stronger, I wonder what is newly growing and emerging in your life? Or desiring to emerge? As seasons and cycles will have it, some of my own goals and intentions are evolutions of long-standing projects and desires. Yet others feel entirely new, and with it a curiosity of what will transform over this next season to come. 

If part of what you are growing, or wishing to grow, in this new season are your IFS skills and community connection, we hope you’ll join us for one of our upcoming workshops, retreats, or therapist drop-in sessions.

Wishing you a season full of beauty, renewed hope, and inspiration, 

 

Sarah Jarvis, and all of us at IFS Connect. 

March 2024

Late last night I arrived home and nestled into my familiar comforts after spending the day traveling back from Costa Rica where Sarah Jarvis and I were on staff for Susan McConnell’s Somatic IFS retreat. How lovely it felt to meet my world again, touched by the beauty and profundity of our week, and find my dear, loyal poodle by my side. 

 

Our retreat began only days after the IFS community had received news about Derek Scott’s passing through the final YouTube video he made and shared with us all. It felt poignant and timely that we were able to process this in the Somatic IFS circle and to join our hearts as we sang together in song. 

 

Derek loved to teach and he also sang very well. The last time I saw Derek (and the only time I ever got to meet him in person) we were at the Somatic IFS training in Ontario organized by Risa and Marina. 

I had just completed six rounds of intense chemotherapy treatments and Derek took me aside to teach me the harmony parts to a song he later shared with our large group. As we sang it again in Costa Rica the words carried the resonance of his presence now transformed:  “I am opening up in sweet surrender to the luminous love-light of the one.” 

 

Susan McConnell teaches about “radical resonance” and the chords of Derek’s message ring on  for all of us who are dedicated to the peace, compassion, flow and magic that opens when we lead from Self. Of course, this takes time, as we meet our protectors again and again. With tenderness, respect, validation and affirmation we slowly earn their trust and give them the gift of relief, choice and freedom. In this way, we learn the model best when we apply it to our lives. IFS Connect is dedicated to fostering Self-leadership through experiential training, workshops, consultation and soon, a growing catalogue of guided meditations.

Warmly,

Risa Adams

February 2024

In this month of February, we often see more images of the heart, people speak about love and valentines. I have parts that loved being creative and making valentine cards for others and especially liked it when teachers asked us to give a valentine to everyone in the class. My heart always hurt when someone was missed.

I have been exploring my heart recently, listening to wise words of “drop inside and do what your heart is calling you to do” or “follow your heart”! As much as this is great advice, I find this difficult as my head has been in the lead for so long. Even when I have made a decision that resonates with my heart longings, I find many parts that doubt or question the decision.

I have been reading “The Book of Awakening” by Mark Nepo and the passage for February 7 was titled “A Legacy of Sadness”. He goes on to write “Atlas wasn’t forced to hold up the world. He was convinced that if he didn’t, the world would fall.” This speaks to my hardworking managers that keep me going so I am able to show up for others. I have been noticing the amount of self-sacrificing my system has done so I would be accepted into this world, with the hope to also keep this world from falling apart. No wonder I became a “healing/helping” professional. As I turn toward my heart, I am aware of the sadness it carries. I have parts not wanting to be with my heart as they have spent a lifetime avoiding or ignoring this sadness. I have come to know with IFS that these are parts that are in my heart who have great empathy for others.

Mark Nepo also writes “I have come to understand that there is a huge difference between sharing someone’s pain and bearing it”. Part of my journey has been about gaining some clarity about what is mine to hold or process and what is others that I am burdened with, or carrying for them. I am in a process these days of being with the parts who took on the job of holding and giving them permission to give back or let go of what isn’t mine (theirs). My parts and I are in this place of noticing the way we can be with grief in a collective, more compassionate way. There is another way to be with sadness. I now am aware of the parts of me that are so empathic and as I drop into the deeper field of compassion I can notice the difference between empathy and compassion.

 Empathy is “I feel you”, Compassion is more “I feel you and I am with you, you are not alone”. Self can be with anything, or in other words nothing is too big for Self energy. This is helpful for me to remember and for my little ones to know they are not alone. When I am able to allow space for my parts to be, more Self energy is available and I am more able to tap into the collective Self energy that is always available. I am so grateful to have found IFS and this way of being with my internal world. My parts that get sad for others (when they don’t get a valentine) don’t have to be alone in their sadness. I am exploring with them if they want to be with me in therapy spaces where there might be a lot of sadness or stories of trauma and pain. Some have chosen not to be there, others want to, especially if I prepare them for sad feelings to be present during the session. When I am able to do this I have more space to share someone’s pain and not take it on.

 

What do you do to access your Self Energy? What can you let go of today that isn’t yours to carry? Perhaps using the breath to help this process. Breathing in whatever you need today  (maybe one of C or P qualities of Self) and as you breathe out letting go of anything that no longer serves you. Allowing it to be as easy as breathing in nourishment for you and breathing out to release.

With compassion and ease 

From my heart to yours,

Robin

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