Newsletter | IFS Connect

Each month we send out a mailing of what's new and open for registration, as well as a note of reflection from one of us.

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August 2024

When I started out on my IFS Learning journey I was completely on my own, finding courses online in a windowless hospital office. I so wish I had the support of a community to help me reflect, get feedback, grow and ease my isolation. When Risa Adams reached out to build IFS Connect I was smitten right away. It turns out we all felt something a little like this and wanted to nurture meaningful connections in our growing Canadian IFS community. We’d love to have you be a part of this vision and are inviting you to join us on September 6th from 1:30-3pm for a special get-together.

We will be meeting via Zoom for our 2nd Annual IFS Connect Fall Gathering! It’s a chance to connect with other IFS learners, no matter what your experience level. And it’s FREE!

Come if you are seeking clarity on your IFS learning pathway, whether you are:

Brand new to IFS
Have taken some courses/workshops
Graduated from a comprehensive course or Level 1

There will be a meditation, followed by small group connection time and an opportunity to ask us your IFS learning pathway questions. We’re also excited to share with you all of the offerings that we have for the fall, including drop-in consult groups, the Beginning With Ourselves group, demo offerings, and triad practice opportunities.

We’re looking forward to meeting you and excited to spend time with you on September 6, 2024!

Warmly,

Anna

June 2024

Despite the fact that the weather is warm and mostly sunny, my garden is bursting with new life, and I’m enjoying my work, I have noticed recently that I am feeling more irritable. The things I was able to let go or that didn’t even register with me before are now evoking reactivity in me. When I realized how I was feeling, I reacted by pushing the feelings away, not wanting to feel irritable, not liking the sensations and the behaviour that resulted. After a few days (part of me says, a few days!? Why does it have to take so long to wake up to what is happening? - so that’s there too), but where was I?

Yes, after a few days it occurred to me that this irritability might be something to pay attention to and to approach. I’m still in the process of this exploration as I write this, but I have realized that there are some parts of me whose needs are not being met. Life got very busy in the last while and some of my self-care practices had been let go. As I recognized this and began to make space (as much as possible in this busy month) to give myself time, the irritability started to decrease.

The most helpful thing for me in becoming aware of being blended with parts is sharing with others who get it. I have a peer partner who I meet with weekly to do a short meditation and check in with our parts and each other. I’m a member of a consultation group that meets monthly where I can share the parts of me that come up both in my work and in life. I’m also a member of other IFS-based groups that meet monthly and connect over specific topics. These groups support my process of getting to know myself and help me to show up in the world more authentically. I’m so grateful for them and for this IFS community.

My hope and wish for you is to find these connections for yourself. We hope that the offerings of IFS Connect will support you in this. We’d love to hear from you - what are you needing and looking for in your journey? We’ve created a short survey for you to let us know your thoughts. Please take a few moments to fill it in here.

In connection,

Elizabeth

May 2024

Spring is here in full swing, bright and festive, the trees are finally covered with fresh green leaves, everything around is blooming in full force in so many colours and forms, reminding us to breathe in the beauty of life…

These days, when so much is happening in our imperfect world, I am sitting with this poem by Abigail Magidna Gross (translated from Hebrew) that touched me deeply:

How does spring remember to bloom?

Despite the tears of pain,

It’s determined to be happy

To share comfort in every heart.

How is it not confused?

And opens its colourful fan,

Smiling with all its might

In reality that doesn’t make sense.

How does nature know to hug?

And to fill fields with hope,

Driving away evil with its flowers

And giving the soul grace and peace.

I wish we were such a spring

that insists on holding onto the good.

I wish we chose to be like it,

To be generous and simple in love.

A couple of weeks ago we had a Trainers retreat organized by the IFS Institute. As I was looking at the small screens, I could see a vibrant mosaic of faces from different cultures, countries, ages, personalities, and experiences, like a field of beautiful flowers. This is the promising future of IFS. The atmosphere in the retreat was amazing, so much wisdom, open-mindedness, love, hopes, so much Self energy.

As we were meditating together, we were feeling the healing energy of Self flowing inside and between us, and we were sending it towards people we know and don’t know, those who need our compassion, love and care…

May we be able to spread love and not hate, may we be able to open our hearts towards each other, to remember that our Self has no limits and can heal all the pain in the world!

Let’s continue cherishing life, sun, nature, and our loved ones every minute we can!

With love,

Marina Hazan, and all of us at IFS Connect.

April 2024

As April begins the days are growing longer here in Canada, and after many weeks of wet and gray we are finally celebrating sunshine and blue sky here on the West Coast, where I live. This past week as I walked to my office past the rows of cherry blossoms and daffodils, I noticed a spontaneous welling of hope and excitement moving through my body. New life is here, said a little whisper. Even amid a busy city, I find that nature, and springtime in particular, is one of the surest and deepest sources to access Self-Energy. A living symbol of life and beauty returning after a time of darkness and hibernation.

As we ride the seasonal changes from winter to spring, both around us and within, I have been reflecting on the seeds that were planted and quietly tended to during the long days of winter. What dreams were buried deep into the soil of your heart during that time? What hopes and intentions were nurtured throughout those dark nights? And, as winter often brings, what burdens spoke to you, were witnessed, and cared for?

And now, as shoots of green spring forth from the earth and the morning birdsong grows stronger, I wonder what is newly growing and emerging in your life? Or desiring to emerge? As seasons and cycles will have it, some of my own goals and intentions are evolutions of long-standing projects and desires. Yet others feel entirely new, and with it a curiosity of what will transform over this next season to come.

If part of what you are growing, or wishing to grow, in this new season are your IFS skills and community connection, we hope you’ll join us for one of our upcoming workshops, retreats, or therapist drop-in sessions.

Wishing you a season full of beauty, renewed hope, and inspiration,

Sarah Jarvis, and all of us at IFS Connect.

March 2024

Late last night I arrived home and nestled into my familiar comforts after spending the day traveling back from Costa Rica where Sarah Jarvis and I were on staff for Susan McConnell’s Somatic IFS retreat. How lovely it felt to meet my world again, touched by the beauty and profundity of our week, and find my dear, loyal poodle by my side.

Our retreat began only days after the IFS community had received news about Derek Scott’s passing through the final YouTube video he made and shared with us all. It felt poignant and timely that we were able to process this in the Somatic IFS circle and to join our hearts as we sang together in song.

Derek loved to teach and he also sang very well. The last time I saw Derek (and the only time I ever got to meet him in person) we were at the Somatic IFS training in Ontario organized by Risa and Marina.

I had just completed six rounds of intense chemotherapy treatments and Derek took me aside to teach me the harmony parts to a song he later shared with our large group. As we sang it again in Costa Rica the words carried the resonance of his presence now transformed: “I am opening up in sweet surrender to the luminous love-light of the one.”

Susan McConnell teaches about “radical resonance” and the chords of Derek’s message ring on for all of us who are dedicated to the peace, compassion, flow and magic that opens when we lead from Self. Of course, this takes time, as we meet our protectors again and again. With tenderness, respect, validation and affirmation we slowly earn their trust and give them the gift of relief, choice and freedom. In this way, we learn the model best when we apply it to our lives. IFS Connect is dedicated to fostering Self-leadership through experiential training, workshops, consultation and soon, a growing catalogue of guided meditations.

Warmly,

Risa Adams

February 2024

In this month of February, we often see more images of the heart, people speak about love and valentines. I have parts that loved being creative and making valentine cards for others and especially liked it when teachers asked us to give a valentine to everyone in the class. My heart always hurt when someone was missed.

I have been exploring my heart recently, listening to wise words of “drop inside and do what your heart is calling you to do” or “follow your heart”! As much as this is great advice, I find this difficult as my head has been in the lead for so long. Even when I have made a decision that resonates with my heart longings, I find many parts that doubt or question the decision.

I have been reading “The Book of Awakening” by Mark Nepo and the passage for February 7 was titled “A Legacy of Sadness”. He goes on to write “Atlas wasn’t forced to hold up the world. He was convinced that if he didn’t, the world would fall.” This speaks to my hardworking managers that keep me going so I am able to show up for others. I have been noticing the amount of self-sacrificing my system has done so I would be accepted into this world, with the hope to also keep this world from falling apart. No wonder I became a “healing/helping” professional. As I turn toward my heart, I am aware of the sadness it carries. I have parts not wanting to be with my heart as they have spent a lifetime avoiding or ignoring this sadness. I have come to know with IFS that these are parts that are in my heart who have great empathy for others.

Mark Nepo also writes “I have come to understand that there is a huge difference between sharing someone’s pain and bearing it”. Part of my journey has been about gaining some clarity about what is mine to hold or process and what is others that I am burdened with, or carrying for them. I am in a process these days of being with the parts who took on the job of holding and giving them permission to give back or let go of what isn’t mine (theirs). My parts and I are in this place of noticing the way we can be with grief in a collective, more compassionate way. There is another way to be with sadness. I now am aware of the parts of me that are so empathic and as I drop into the deeper field of compassion I can notice the difference between empathy and compassion.

Empathy is “I feel you”, Compassion is more “I feel you and I am with you, you are not alone”. Self can be with anything, or in other words nothing is too big for Self energy. This is helpful for me to remember and for my little ones to know they are not alone. When I am able to allow space for my parts to be, more Self energy is available and I am more able to tap into the collective Self energy that is always available. I am so grateful to have found IFS and this way of being with my internal world. My parts that get sad for others (when they don’t get a valentine) don’t have to be alone in their sadness. I am exploring with them if they want to be with me in therapy spaces where there might be a lot of sadness or stories of trauma and pain. Some have chosen not to be there, others want to, especially if I prepare them for sad feelings to be present during the session. When I am able to do this I have more space to share someone’s pain and not take it on.

What do you do to access your Self Energy? What can you let go of today that isn’t yours to carry? Perhaps using the breath to help this process. Breathing in whatever you need today (maybe one of C or P qualities of Self) and as you breathe out letting go of anything that no longer serves you. Allowing it to be as easy as breathing in nourishment for you and breathing out to release.

With compassion and ease

From my heart to yours,

Robin

January 2024

I always have many parts that come up with the change of the year. Parts that look back and wonder if I “did enough” this past year and parts that look forward with expectation and excitement for the year ahead. There are parts that have regrets over missed opportunities and parts that feel so much gratitude for experiences of the past year.

I also have parts that identify spring as the new year and others that feel strongly that September is truly the start of a new year. So, as with so much in life as we get to know our parts better, “It’s complicated!”

When I reflect on the past year’s world events, many parts of me feel overwhelmed by the accounts of armed conflicts, destruction of homes and lives, hunger, homelessness, and the looming collapse of our climate. I have experienced panic, despair, rage, and shame as I have allowed the painful stories of others to touch my own life. I have also felt tremendous love and compassion for myself and others, both close and distant, as we continue to make our way through this life, as best we can.

I love what Toko-pa Turner wrote for the new year: “You may have achieved outstanding goals this year. But if it wasn’t that kind of year, notice the ways, small as they may be, that you’ve lived and loved well. Count the occasions in which you’ve made new choices, held to your truth, made your boundaries known. Celebrate your interior steps, even if they haven’t yet become outer strides. If you are enduring something, take a moment to greet the strength in you that kept going. If you’ve sustained a direction, kept a vision alive, or moved even a little closer to what once felt impossible - glance back to see all you’ve overcome.” (Toko-pa Turner, Facebook, December 31, 2023).

I believe that this process of IFS that we are all engaged in, both personally and professionally, does make a difference in the world. It’s not perfect, and neither are any of us, but the important thing is that we continue to build relationships with our own parts, to connect with others, to offer repair after causing hurt or harm, and to have compassion for ourselves and each other through this process. Being on this journey with you all is a joy and a relief to my parts who have felt alone for so long. Together we can create something new.

With warmth and wishes for more compassion and connection in 2024,

Elizabeth